Sibling Rivalry, Healthy or Not?

​I have come across this topic before and I honestly didn’t take notice of it because I never have had any experience with it much more with my siblings. Although we argue a lot, which I think is very common among children and with siblings, but we sometimes agree on some stuffs we like in common and we fight when we were little, and so does my two kids now. Siblings are those people who, even though we never see eye to eye at times, they are always there to have your back no matter what.Sibling rivalry is just normal among kids with different age gaps, different gender or with different interests. We must understand that not all siblings have the same tastes on clothes, or have the same opinions and or the same point of views on trivial matters or have the same level of understanding or have the same talents, or of the same age – even twins do argue mind you – and so forth. In short, everyone has its own uniqueness and character, not just siblings but people per se. This small fights and arguments though are perfectly normal among children but it can escalate to a much bigger problem among parents if not dealt with properly.

Here are my top four reasons why sibling fight or have “sibling rivalry”:

     As I have said, not all siblings have the same interest in everything. Sometimes the other sibling excels in academics and the other on sports; this sometimes causes the other to be jealous to the other sibling or vice versa. A parent should always know how to identify this emotion among their children earlier so that they could suppress or put a stop on what they think or feel of the other. This jealousy may play a part in a situation and spark a fight between siblings.

     This is probably the common cause of fights among children and siblings. There will be instances when siblings may excel on the same things, thus, a sense of competition is bound to arise between them. When, for example the other sibling has better excelled in one of the things they both good at the other one then will work out to his full potential to get back at his siblings to whatever way they deem fit then fight will broil among them.

​     “It is generally seen that most households have siblings with an age gap of 4-5 years as parents often decide that they would wait for their first child to become somewhat independent and self-sufficient to an extent before trying for the next child. This age gap, in today’s times, can serve as the reason for communication breakdown between siblings and often lead to fights. One younger sibling has difficulty understanding that the older one has different priorities in life than them and thus cannot comprehend their choices at times which leads to quarrels between them. Parents, again, have a huge role to play in order to bridge that gap.” 1

     “Most of them don’t say it out loud, but all children crave for parental attention and praise. And I mean all. Especially the sort of praise they get when the parents compare on sibling to another. Some of you might be thinking that’s bad parenting and I totally agree with you, but come on, all parents do I some time or the other. This, again, leads to fights as one of the siblings gets his ego hurt and feels left out of the party. This can be prevented by parents, by leaving the negligence out and following proper parenting norms.”2

​So, parents have a great impact and or influence in their children’s lives, because you’re the first one to teach them at home. Be careful on what you say to them and avoid comparing your children among each other because it is never healthy to compare. Remember that each children we have are unique and we should treat them with the same equal respect and with equal love.